The world is full of bad music, and it's about time that someone comes along to isolate it all to one location - Abu Dhabi. Meet nine NEPA 20-somethings concerned with the direction that music is going in, and are hoping to put a stop to it before it gets out of hand.
When I first came across Sleigh Bells, it was during their Saturday Night Live performance. Actually, it was before they started performing and I saw this image of them.
Now, I like being introduced to new music and I love tough front women. So when I saw this image, I foolishly got a little excited. I mean, they look bad ass, Ponyboy from Outsiders bad ass. I know, I know. You are not suppose to judge a book by its cover. But I guess I have some shallow tendencies and in my defense this book was advertising falsely.
And let me just give everyone a little piece of advice here, dressing like a tough kid when you are not is one of the leading causes of getting your ass kicked by an actual tough kid. Just sayin'.
This is what I thought Sleigh Bells might sound like based on appearance.
I had prepared myself to hear something rocking, in the vein of The Distillers or Walls of Jericho. Hell, I would have even settled for something that sounded like Pink, because her music might not be the toughest or rawest sounding thing but, I will admit, that lady scares the shit out of me.
This is what Alexis of Sleigh Bells actually sounds like.
ANYWAY, when they finally started to perform the sound that came out of Alexis was more akin to a Power Puff Girl. Now don't get me wrong, there are times when the music definitely has some bite to it. The guitarist was in Poison the Well prior to 2003, so maybe that has something to do with it. But over all, I felt like I was tricked into thinking I was going to hear something punk, rock, or hardcore and instead I got some strange mix of electronic, new wave, noise and disappointment. You can hear what I mean for yourself...
So boys & girls, I submit Sleigh Bells for consideration to be shipped off to Abu Dhabi on the basis of major let down and false advertising.
To most people, this song seems innocent enough. In fact, most people really do enjoy this song, even if it did wind up on Songza's 100 Worst Songs Ever playlist. That's where Ashley, Irish Kev and I found it last weekend as we drove through New Jersey, and I found myself having to explain the story of the song to them. It turns out that most people don't actually know what this one is about, and as I explained it, I came to the conclusion that this one belonged in the desert permanently. I mean, they do want to escape and all.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's the Pina Colada song! You know, the one where Rupert Holmes likes pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain? That's what most people know the song for - I mean, it's understandable, as it's the chorus and it's kinda catchy. What people tend to miss is the verses, which luckily for you, the reader, I have time to summarize for you:
So Holmes, as the narrator, is bored with his girlfriend/wife/significant other. He finds himself reading the newspaper one night while in bed with "his lady," and is drawn to a personal ad, written by a woman who likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain, along with other generic personal ad things. The woman advises anyone interested to write to her and escape.
Holmes, tired of "the same old, dull routine," decides to respond directly to the ad (in record time, a trend that will continue throughout the song), saying that he does indeed joy pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. While writing, he decides that he clearly can't handle his current situation anymore, and plans a meeting time for himself and the mystery woman to escape.
The next day (again, the turn-around time is amazing in this song), our narrator heads off to the assigned meeting place of O'Malley's, and waits for his apparent new love to arrive. When she finally does, Holmes is surprised to find that it is, indeed, his current lady. The song has a happy ending, where the couple discovers new things about each other and has a good laugh over the whole thing.
Let's wait just one second here. You mean to tell me that these people were about to run off on each other, but because it was the other that they were writing to, it's OK? Absolutely not! There are some MAJOR trust issues that this couple needs to look into, and while, yes, it's nice they are learning new things about each other, they may want to learn them about someone else. I know that if I were in the same situation, I'd be asking a lot of questions, and I'm pretty sure any other sane person would do the same.
Also, when the Village People are the least-absurd looking people in a video, you've really accomplished something. Nice shirt, tie, and jacket combination, Rupert.
This behavior may work a lot better in Abu Dhabi, so off you go. Good luck getting caught in the rain, though.
