I'm not exactly tickled pink by this song.

I blame the Y2K bug.

Back in 2000, the music world was introduced to Pink, a new pop singer straight out of the Philadelphia area.   Complete with pink hair (to match her name - so clever!), her first single, "There You Go," took over the airwaves for what seemed like an eternity, and sold enough copies that record executives thought it would be a good idea for her to keep making music and terrorizing the American public.

If none of that had ever happened, we never would have had to deal with this:

Somewhere between 2000 and 2008, Pink (now spelled P!nk, apparently) decided that Kool-Aid hair was no longer going to be her gimmick, and instead, she was going to be one tough bitch.  She proved her supposed-toughness in the single "So What," where she goes on and on and on and on and on about how she wants to start a fight with basically anyone who gets in her way.  Because she's one tough bitch, you see.  This all starts because her husband has left her/she left her husband/they're back together and angry at each other/whatever other fucking story they have for their relationship this week.  I only say this because he left...but he's in the video...but they're angry at each other...but then they're hugging it out...but then she's angry again.

I guess it's hard to control your emotions when you're one tough bitch.

But anyway, P!nk goes on to ask the listener to "check her flow" like she's Biggie or something, and goes on to tell another story of how she lost her table at a restaurant to Jessica Simpson, who hadn't been relevant since approximately...well....ever.  In fact, here are people that were more relevant than Jessica Simpson at the time:

But this is all OK, and do you know why?  Because not only is P!nk one tough bitch, but she's also a rock star!  That's right - it doesn't matter who gets in her way, and who she needs to fight, because she's a rock star!  She's got her rock moves!

...wait, what?  What the fuck are rock moves?  Sadly, P!nk never explains just what they are, and Webster's offers no explanation.  To be honest, the only rock moves I know are these:

Nah nah nah nah nah nah nah, P!nk, it's off to Abu Dhabi you go.  I can already hear her challenging me to a fight in my head...

-Matt