#TERRIBLE.

 

It's been a while since I've written one of these things - let's see if I can still bury some bad music.

I mean, it shouldn't be too hard - there's a ton of stuff that's come out since I've packed something away in the Box that should be shipped out, hopefully to never be heard from again. 2013 and 2014 have been a wealth of awful, so it was difficult to pick just one song that needed my immediate attention. Yet, through all the Kanyes and Avrils and songs about Air Jordans (which, trust me, someone on the staff will get to sooner or later), one sticks out like a bad Instagram post that you just can't look away from.

                                 

The name of the song is #SELFIE, and is by a group called The Chainsmokers, which I literally just learned right before writing this post. It appears that #CRACK is what they've been chainsmoking if they think this #MESS is any good. Here's the basic premise behind the song - this girl is #DRUNK, and is just rambling on and on and on about who knows what. None of the "lyrics" really seem to go together at any point - it's a huge disjointed #DISASTER of a song. The narrator (because I'm sure as hell not going to call her a singer) raises some very important questions in this song - for example, "What filter should I use?", "Jason just texted me - should I go home with him?", and the often-debated "Who goes out on Mondays?" Riveting stuff, I know.

What the song does teach me is this - the way to approach any situation, good or bad is to first take a #SELFIE. She doesn't mean just any #SELFIE, either - it has to be a #GOODSELFIE. In fact, ten likes in five minutes isn't good enough, as it's enough to make her considering taking it down and replacing it with another one. If at first you don't #SUCCEED, I guess...

I think my biggest concern with this song is that people like this must exist somewhere in this world. While I do keep myself informed on popular music (obviously, as I unfortunately know what this is), I tend not to put myself into situations where I may encounter whatever this type of person is. And I don't like the reminder.

With all that said, it's off to Abu Dhabi you go. And no, you can't take a #SELFIE first.

-Matt