The most inappropriately titled song ever.

Around this time every year, I decide to be a glutton for punishment and take a look at the lineup for Warped Tour. You'd think I would have learned my lesson after the Brokencyde Incident of 2011, but sadly, that was not the case on this chilly, dreary Sunday morning in NEPA.

Now before we get started, let me make one thing clear - I know that it's not 2000 anymore, and that Warped Tour now offers a wider variety of music to a more diverse listening audience. It's not "punk rock" anymore (whatever that even means). Instead, it features everything from hardcore to metal-ish stuff to hip hop to dubstep (don't even get me started on THAT) to yes, occasionally, a little bit of punk.

No, seriously, only a little. Goldfinger is on the tour this year for eight days.

With that said, I can't even begin to excuse what you're about to watch being involved in Warped Tour.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you "BEST SONG EVERRR" by Wallpaper.. No, the double punctuation at the end of the sentence is not a typo - Wallpaper. is apparently a complete sentence. Don't get me wrong - I'm all about proper grammar and punctuation, but turning your "band" name into a one-word sentence is hardly the BEST PUNCTUATION EVERRR.

That's not the most ridiculous thing happening here though, as the song does a pretty good job at being the BEST RIDICULOUSLY TERRIBLE SONG EVERRR. The video begins as Wallpaper. (I guess that's his proper name?) appears out of nowhere, materializing out of confetti in what he would surely call the BEST CONCEPTION EVERRR. Wallpaper. makes his way through the party, and is clearly cast as the guy no one wants there as the other party guests get more and more annoyed as he goes along. I'm glad to see that my sentiments are shared by others.

So the song progresses, going on and on and on and on and on and on and on about how all of the people around are the BEST PEOPLE EVERRR, and how his Spanish-speaking skills are not the BEST SPANISH-SPEAKING SKILLS EVERRR, but it never does realize its potential as the BEST SONG EVERRR as Wallpaper. predicts. This song, to me, is like what would happen if LMFAO and Asher Roth had a baby, and while the confetti conception earlier was the BEST CONCEPTION EVERRR, this one would not share the same fate.

As the song progresses, the other partygoers start to accept Wallpaper. and start to dance and sing with him. Of course, accepting bad things into your life comes with negative consequences, and by the end of the song, the other guests are now vomiting confetti. I'll admit - towards the end of the song, I wanted to vomit too, but I don't think confetti would have been what was coming out if I did. The video ends in the BEST WAY EVERRR (if it were reality), as the whole thing just explodes back into confetti and disappears.

Well, maybe exploding into confetti isn't the most ideal solution here, but the explosion part works for me.

My message to the organizers of Warped Tour - peel the Wallpaper. off the set list and get back to the good music.

Was that the BEST JOKE EVERRR? Absolutely not, but it's still better than what we all just listened to. Off to Abu Dhabi you go!

-Matt