Friday, March 16, 2012

Disney isn't far enough away to send this one.

Even though I'm a Giants fan, I can't help but blame Phil Simms, at least a little, for what we're about to have to endure.


Just after the Giants won Super Bowl XXI, Simms made his proclamation that the only way to celebrate his new ring was to head to Disney (pending the $75,000 they paid him to say it).  He was the first to do this, and started a long tradition of Super Bowl winners who were going to head to Florida and/or California to relax after a hard-fought victory. 

That said, it was meant to be an advertising vehicle for the parks, not the basis for a horrible song.


Back in 1992 (if the video didn't give that away), Dada decided to set the vacation industry back about 300 years by releasing "Dizz Knee Land," where they discuss a number of things that aren't exactly epic...or noteworthy...or particularly good...and how they're going to go to Dis...err...(damn copyrights)...DIZZ KNEE LAND to celebrate.  Seriously, they talk about flipping off the President (how edgy!), drinking gin, and getting arrested, and saying that's a reason to pack the car and go visit Mickey.

But wait - no, it's not about Disney at all.  No way.  In fact, to make sure that you know it has nothing to do with the park, Dada's bass player, Joie Calio, said this about the track in an interview:

"The song isn't about Disneyland at all. It's not about Disneyland. It... has nothing to do with Disneyland, actually. It has more to do with the craziness of the juxtaposition of the state of your every day. Just looking around you. You could see a guy's head being chopped off and, you know, a leg flying away and someone embracing someone in a lovely kiss and then flip the channel and then a chainsaw goes buzzing through, you know, some butter and it accidentally cuts your mom's head off and then you flip again and they're making love and then you flip again and it's (Joe) Montana going 'I'm going to Disneyland.' You know, it's just that whole thing, how insane it is, but you know, it's just the natural state. I don't think we're making a, we're not pointing our fingers. We're just... it just is, and we're just singin' it."

Umm...what??? So basically, the first thing they want you to think of when you think of Disney is someone being decapitated.  Yeah, that's cheery.  Who wants to ride Space Mountain???

No, Ric, no one called for you.

To make matters worse, the video has random objects flying across the screen for no discernable reason (what do that fish or the troll dolls have to do with anything?!?), and the band looks like every stereotype from 1992 that you could possibly have.  Flannel?  Check.  Longish hair?  Check.  Backwards baseball cap?  Check.

I just heard this song for the first time three weeks ago, but now I wish I could go back and erase it from my memory forever.  Abu Dhabi, please take this one away and keep it for a permanent vacation.  Just don't let it on any amusement park rides - it doesn't deserve it.

-Matt