The world is full of bad music, and it's about time that someone comes along to isolate it all to one location - Abu Dhabi. Meet nine NEPA 20-somethings concerned with the direction that music is going in, and are hoping to put a stop to it before it gets out of hand.
Allow me to introduce you to Gabriela and Monica Irimia, twin sisters from Romania, better know as The Cheeky Girls. At the height of their fame between 2002 and 2004 they had 4 top ten hits in the UK. I wouldn't exactly call them hits but, hey I guess the UK has a twisted taste in music. They were best know for this debacle.
I am not sure how "Touch my bum, this is life', makes any sense or gets you a top hit.... BUT HEY.
Since then it has been nothing but a fast decline with major money issues, charges of shoplifting and an appearance on Britain's Got Talent. They did try to make a come back with a Cheeky Girls make-up line aimed at teens but, let's be honest, these two shouldn't be marketing anything towards young people. So lets pack them up for good before anymore damage is done!
911: "911, what's your emergency?"
Caller: "I feel like I'm being raped, but there's nobody here! Help me!"
"If I were invisible, I would make you mine tonight."
Sounds more like a threat to me than anything, Clay Aiken.
I can't think of many songs that are much creepier than this one. Clay Aiken could have been a superstar, but when his breakout single "Invisible" came out, all anyone could think was that he sounded like a crazed stalker. Abu Dhabi, please take this song and let us have the sweet, personable Clay that America's 99% sure they all voted to be a winner.
Looks like it's my turn to fuel the fire and keep the postal service in business. I have to admit, this is the first time I'm writing about a video/song that almost left me speechless and barely anything to say to cut this thing into pieces. Let's get right to it. This pretty much speaks for itself.
Jan Terri folks. Give it up! Now you're probably asking yourself "what the fuck did I just watch?". I can tell you. Crap. Where do I start with this? Let's start with the production. Home video at it's finest chopped up and edited by somebody who obviously didn't care about this enough to make it worth watching. At all. The song has horribly painful late 80's written all over it. The video and music opens up like we're about to watch "Good Morning (Insert City here)". "What a beautiful day in sunny Chicago everyone!" Here comes the limo, who could it be? No one special, just an amazing hairdo that would even put a poodle to shame. At first I thought this was a friend of my grandmother's, then I realized I don't know anyone with this much of a lack of talent or fashion sense. Where is she going, I have no clue. Now we're in the park. God damn, look at that foupa and that massive belt holding up a sack of rotten potatoes. That's awful. Clearly by her facial reactions, she's a rebel and a force to indeed to be reckoned with at the pizza buffet. She's starting to reminisce about a guy that has a striking resemblance to former WCW Wrestling star Magnum TA. Would that guy hang with a broad this hideous, I wouldn't put it past him. Unless he plays for the other team and is just playing mind games with her. Enough about Magnum TA. How the hell did I come up with that one? Moving on. They attempt to paint a picture of some type of story of heartbreak and uncomfortable motorcycle rides. And yes, that guy parks in the "No Parking zone" because he's a rebel and him parked under the sign confirms this notion along with that wonderful black fringed jacket. Keep watching and you'll see more unsuccessful lip syncing and an excellent shot of a pipe pumping dirty water into that pond. The camera crew has really out done itself this time! Take a break guys, you deserve it right after you decide to make this video watchable, which is never. You're fired. At least Jan Terri looks great. Wrong again. Don't ever work in production again. That's all there really is to this video. Here's the storyline that I've come up with: Terrible. A bunch of unfulfilled walks down the street followed by a bike riding, foupa flashing suck fest. Then she gets on a plane. The end. Abu Dhabi, boy are you going to enjoy this one! And for god sakes, keep it!
In the wrestling business, there's a locker room custom that states that you are to introduce yourself to everyone that you do not know in said locker room. Without getting into too much detail, not doing this is a giant breach of etiquette, and I've seen instances where people have been singled out for not following this tradition and embarassed to the point that they never returned to the promotion. Hell, WWE even made a gimmick out of it at one point.
That said, you only have to introduce yourself when you're meeting someone for the first time. After that, it's perfectly acceptable to just say hello and continue along.
This brings me to tonight's post, based on someone who just doesn't get that idea.
Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce you to Jason Derulo. Actually, I take that back - our new friend Jason does a pretty good job of doing that himself.
I'm surprised - I actually thought there were a lot more than three examples when I started writing this post. That's not important, though, as introducing yourself to an audience three times is really more than enough. I mean, really, we got it the first time. The second time? Sure, that doesn't hurt, just to be safe, but that's starting to border on unnecessary. Introducing yourself a third time, though? Now that's just too much. We get it - we know your name, Jason (if I may call you that - I mean, after three introductions, we should really be on a first name basis, as now we're practically best friends). That's not even a creative gimmick to have. All it does is get a horribly autotuned version of some guy's name stuck in your head for what feels like an eternity.
Oh, and did I mention how his music completely sucks? It's as run-of-the-mill as it can possibly be. I've heard more inspired music on episodes of Phineas and Ferb.
In reality, that was an excuse to post a video from Phineas and Ferb (like a 30 year old guy needs one of those!), but seriously - this stuff is FAR more sophisticated that "you're my it girl/baby you're the shit girl." With lines like that, I bet he has to fight the ladies off with a stick!
Or maybe because he has songs on the radio. Yeah, that's more likely.
There's plenty of new people to introduce yourself to in Abu Dhabi, Jason Derulo (said in autotuned tones). Please, go meet them. Leave us all alone.
Formed by English pop band in 1989, the brothers Richard and Fred Fairbrass were seasoned veterans of touring. Shorty after being joined by Robert Manzoli in 1990, the group released their most popular single, “I’m Too Sexy” on Tug reocrds.In Fact, Right Said Fred are the first UK artists since the Beatles to reach the No. 1 slot in the U.S. with a debut single.
I know, right.
I was going to write a dissertation on this song, but I’m just too sexy for this post. Just watch the video and relive the early 90’s commentary on the overzealous fashion industry.
This past summer. Here is a synopsis of the Facebook status updates I saw.
"Bored"
"Sick"
"Misc Dirty Laundry Airing"
"Pregnant!"
" ...Well That's alright because I love the way you lie"
" Just gonna stand there and watch me burn"
"Guess that's why they call it window pain"
statuses with lyrics from " Can we pretend that Airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars... I could really use a wish right now" , "Love the Way You Lie", "Hey Soul Sister", & "Fireflies" (already in the box thank god). way overdone.
I don;t mind the earlier ones, minus the dirty laundry airing. Which on occasion can be fun. What I do mind is the last 3. Quotes from Eminem's "Love the Way you Lie" Featuring Rihanna.
The song in and of itself is not bad. It is kind of good, in a sad, disturbing kind of way. Has a good hook, tragic content, decent video.
You may be asking why is it going in the box then?
Well because frankly I got so burnt out of it due to the endless status updates. The rest of those song status updates were equally annoying but, the frequency was beyond compare.
Wait Ang, maybe it's the people you know...
Imagine my surprise, while logged on my husband's Facebook and saw the same status sprinkled all about.
Here is the vidya for anyone who hasn't been privy to this song.
I was once, and I guess sort of still am a pretty big fan of Eminem, and it has been no secret that he has a very volatile relationship with Kim, his wife, fiancee, girlfriend, murder victim, whore, love of his life,baby mama, etc. Its sick and its sad, but it has been documented in a ton of his songs. In any case this song tells the story of a terrible relationship, with abuse, but not wanting to let go on both ends. When its great its amazing and when its bad, its violent and awful.
My problem is people thinking because their boyfriend left the seat up this was a reason to make " Just gonna stand there and watch me burn" and update, nor is your husband staying out to late , as in said he would be home at 8pm but arrives at 815pm and says it was traffic merit "love the way you lie"
These people are fucking stupid. Truthfully I deleted most of these people because their updates in general were stupid, but these types of updates just put me over the edge. So because of this I now have to put a song I like into the box and send it away to prevent people from annoying me with it. So take it away before I change my mind Abu Dhabi, hopefully you can use it more responsibly. I'll send it to you on a raft set blaze, watching it burn as it floats off in the distance. :)
-Angie
Hey everybody. In this world of terrible music, I feel it would be
a tragedy if we did not throw some other garbage into the box. With that said,
I would like to introduce you to a new segment here in Abu Dhabi land. I present to you...
THINKING OUTSIDE
THE BOX~!
Our first entry.
This iconic image; Shutter sunglasses. Of course when I see this
image, only one image comes to my mind.
Ok so maybe it was just an excuse to post the picture, but
seriously. SHUTTER SUNGLASSES. What kinda shit for brains came up with the idea
for glasses that are not clear. In fact they are so beyond not clear, that
there are horizontal bars in front of them. Now don't get me wrong, I'm sure
this is just fashion, and actually to my knowledge, this may even be dated
fashion now. But at the time of this stupid fad, there was no Box To Abu Dhabi
blogsite that I could post on, so I didn't get a chance to rant. But now's a
better time than ever I guess. These things are really fucking stupid.
Taken directly
from the wikipedia, in fact this is the whole article.
"Shutter Shades
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Shutter Shades are a design of slatted sunglasses commercially available since the 1980s.
Instead of having lenses, the design is characterized by its "shutter" motif, which is part of the frame. The shades are marketed as suitable for both men and women.[1] are available in an assortment of styles and colors. Depending on the design, Shutter Shades may not function as sunglasses; although some models contain UV resistant lenses, many do not, and only feature a series of horizontal plastic "shades," which neither provide protection for the eye from UV light nor prevent a substantial amount of light from entering the eye.
History
First available in the 1980s, nicknamed "Venetian Blinders," a then-popular design of louvered eyewear were featured in the music videos for "Glittering Prize" by Simple Minds in 1982 and"Obsession" by Animotion in 1984. Alain Mikli made a contemporary custom design for Kanye West[2], again influenced by the fashion of the 1980s. West popularized the glasses in the music videofor "Stronger."[3] In 2007, Shutter Shades Inc emerged, patented the current sleeker plastic design[4] and coined and trademarked the term "Shutter Shades".[5] Over the remainder of the year and the next, several celebrities publicly embraced the style of the shades, quickly establishing this new design of eyewear as a pop culture staple.[6] During the 2010 FIFA World Cup many fans were seen wearing shutter shades with the design of their respective flag pictured on the glasses."
You know what that whole article is
Dog Shit. Good old fashion American Dog Shit. If you wanna wear sunglasses, wear fucking sunglasses. If you wanna walk around with shit in front of your eyes, wear a blind fold. But so god sake don't walk around with these stupid fucking sunglasses. You look fucking stupid
That ends the first entry of "Thinking Outside The Box"
