These people have a strange sense of humor.

To most people, this song seems innocent enough. In fact, most people really do enjoy this song, even if it did wind up on Songza's 100 Worst Songs Ever playlist. That's where Ashley, Irish Kev and I found it last weekend as we drove through New Jersey, and I found myself having to explain the story of the song to them. It turns out that most people don't actually know what this one is about, and as I explained it, I came to the conclusion that this one belonged in the desert permanently. I mean, they do want to escape and all.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it's the Pina Colada song! You know, the one where Rupert Holmes likes pina coladas, and getting caught in the rain? That's what most people know the song for - I mean, it's understandable, as it's the chorus and it's kinda catchy. What people tend to miss is the verses, which luckily for you, the reader, I have time to summarize for you:

So Holmes, as the narrator, is bored with his girlfriend/wife/significant other. He finds himself reading the newspaper one night while in bed with "his lady," and is drawn to a personal ad, written by a woman who likes pina coladas and getting caught in the rain, along with other generic personal ad things. The woman advises anyone interested to write to her and escape.

Holmes, tired of "the same old, dull routine," decides to respond directly to the ad (in record time, a trend that will continue throughout the song), saying that he does indeed joy pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. While writing, he decides that he clearly can't handle his current situation anymore, and plans a meeting time for himself and the mystery woman to escape.

The next day (again, the turn-around time is amazing in this song), our narrator heads off to the assigned meeting place of O'Malley's, and waits for his apparent new love to arrive. When she finally does, Holmes is surprised to find that it is, indeed, his current lady. The song has a happy ending, where the couple discovers new things about each other and has a good laugh over the whole thing.

Let's wait just one second here. You mean to tell me that these people were about to run off on each other, but because it was the other that they were writing to, it's OK? Absolutely not! There are some MAJOR trust issues that this couple needs to look into, and while, yes, it's nice they are learning new things about each other, they may want to learn them about someone else. I know that if I were in the same situation, I'd be asking a lot of questions, and I'm pretty sure any other sane person would do the same.

Also, when the Village People are the least-absurd looking people in a video, you've really accomplished something. Nice shirt, tie, and jacket combination, Rupert.

This behavior may work a lot better in Abu Dhabi, so off you go. Good luck getting caught in the rain, though.

-Matt