Wednesday, November 20, 2013

I'm sorry, what do you want to do? I couldn't tell from your song.

I can't believe we haven't covered this song before. I mean, it's bad. Really, really, unbelievably bad.


Where do I even start with this one? I guess I'll provide some background in case you made the wise decision to not watch the above video. This song is by a bunch of kids called the Black Out Band, and is their ode to their favorite thing in the world - video games.

No, seriously, when I say they're kids, I mean it. As far as I can tell, there's not a member of this band that's older than 12 years old. They're like an even worse KidzBop, if that's possible.

So the song starts, and while it's nothing to write home about, it's not horribly offensive musically. What is offensive, though, is the lead singer's voice. I can't even think of an animal that, in its dying moments, would make the noises that come out of this kid's mouth. I guess he's supposed to be waking up to go to school as the first verse starts? That would be a plausible explanation - if he did not sound like the same unidentified dying animal in every other verse in the song.

Then we move to the chorus, where we find out it's not just the lead singer that has the awful voice - it's all of them! The entire band together sounds like a chorus of Steve Urkels, singing in unison about how they "JUST WANNA PLAY VIDEO GAMES - ALL THE TIME AND EVERY DAY" through their nostrils instead of their mouths.

This was the look I gave to my laptop the first time I heard this song. I probably pointed like this, too.

 
I will say this - these kids have the brain-dead child look down very well. As these kids sit in the back of their limo, playing video games (of course, because that's ALL THEY WANT TO DO) while being chauffeured to school, you can tell that these kids aren't acting. Also, thanks to the aforementioned limo, and the mansion that the singer leaves to go to school, that these spoiled brats probably - no, definitely - are able to JUST PLAY VIDEO GAMES, ALL THE TIME AND EVERY DAY because their parents let them. I mean, did you see that kid's bedroom? I'd be in HUGE trouble if I ever left my room like that!
 
So the song goes on and on about their #1 love, and we come to find that the Black Out Band has gotten out of bed and left their precious video games for no reason - there's no even school today! It's conference day! That's OK though, as they've obviously caught on to the fact that the teachers themselves are at home playing video games themselves. I mean, no parents will notice if their kids' teachers aren't conference day, right?
 
Also, I have to call bullshit on the idea of ANY child not knowing that they don't have a day off from school. I mean, they're video game zombies and all, but even they would have to know that they can stay home!
 
The song ends not too much longer after this, and thankfully, I never have to hear it again if I don't want to. Their name is pretty fitting - I'd rather black out than ever listen to them again. I can think of no better song to start a fresh shipment to Abu Dhabi with.


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